Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Last week I had to catch a train on my way to London at an unfashionable hour for an early meeting for the Hawk and Owl Trust. It started at 9.30am, which for me means a very early start to feed and take out the dogs and feed the horse before leaving. The only upside being that the traffic going into Gloucester was almost nil, so I made the train in good time. However I had forgotten just how awful it is to get on a very crowded tube train, I nearly chickened out, but realised that I would only have to get onto one just as full if I did.I have an impressive black eye! Karis decided to miss the overhead pass and fly at full tilt into my face, thank goodness he is OK, does not seem to have suffered, but we are giving him a couple of days off before flying him again!
Leaf is growing very fast, she runs all the way down to the café at coffee and lunch time now, and does not ask to be picked up. It has warmed up a little so it is safe to let her out and she is going to be pretty easy to house train I think. Of course as she gets older and stronger she also plays for longer, so life gets interesting in the evenings. Sedge is beginning to play with her and Sorrel is just wonderful, so gentle, although it is a little odd to see Leaf with her whole head inside Sorrel’s mouth.
It was half term week and we were nicely busy with visitors which is lovely to see, the weather so far has been kind, although I am told it is going to get colder again. Its good when the Centre is busy. We had our last Owl Evenings until Halloween the weekend before last, they went well, although on the Saturday night it was -5C by the time we were flying the owls outside!! That made sitting on the benches a little chilly I have to say, but the clear sky and stars made for a magical experience and all had a great time. Talking of owls Ruby frightened us a few days ago, she was not looking well so we brought her in, gave her some fluids and put her on a course of antibiotics, but by the afternoon we were not hopeful, and she is 11 years old this year, however by the evening she thought she might be able to toy with a chick to eat, I put the heating on in the Utility room and she stayed in her box in there for about four or five days, she recovered well and is back out in her aviary again and we were all very relieved.
The breeding season is upon us and Simon has hatched the first baby – a Tawny Eagle, who will stay with us if all goes well. We do have one difficulty, a wild Common Buzzard keeps trying to pair up with one of our captive ones, she is always around the aviary block causing trouble. We did have an interesting thought, she is on view to the public and therefore in terms of the British legislation we are benefitting commercially from her! But we have no paperwork – what a dilemma!
The extension to the top middle lawn in the Hawk Walk had kites on it for the first time and Mark is now struggling with the lower middle lawn – not that I am sympathetic as they wanted to do it!! I told Mark that I hoped that next winter we would have no projects, he did not believe me, I am not sure that I believe myself! Next will be the benches round the walnut tree and then we start to get ready for the various celebrations for our 45th anniversary, which is exciting.Soon I will have to tell you about the bed saga, it’s a corker!! But in the meantime………………
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened
by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A SPANISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows but owe Santander for 6.
Nobody drinks milk.
You have a siesta and read about the collapse of the Euro
A GREEK CORPORATION
You lease 2 cows and pay somebody 3 times the going rate to milk them using borrowed money.
You refinance the 4 cows to secure the services of Goldman Sachs. They sell the future milk
production of the 60 cows and fund your lifestyle.
You retire to anywhere that doesn’t use the Euro.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad but awfully nice.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
AN ARGENTINIAN CORPORATION
You don't have any cows.
But you claim sovereignty over the ones belonging to your neighbour
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened
by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A SPANISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows but owe Santander for 6.
Nobody drinks milk.
You have a siesta and read about the collapse of the Euro
A GREEK CORPORATION
You lease 2 cows and pay somebody 3 times the going rate to milk them using borrowed money.
You refinance the 4 cows to secure the services of Goldman Sachs. They sell the future milk
production of the 60 cows and fund your lifestyle.
You retire to anywhere that doesn’t use the Euro.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad but awfully nice.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
AN ARGENTINIAN CORPORATION
You don't have any cows.
But you claim sovereignty over the ones belonging to your neighbour
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